Conclusively Inconclusive

It finally snowed.....a lot.

2010-02-06T12:21:00.003-05:00

Just thought I would post some pictures from this morning. We got 15 inches of snow last night. This is by far the biggest storm since we moved here over 5 years ago.

The Month that Couldn't End Soon Enough

2010-01-31T15:58:00.060-05:00

NOTE: It's been really hard to finish this post because things just keep happening. I apologize for the length, but I decided to document this for my own records. Since I'm doing that, I thought I might as well share it with you too. Feel free to take a break at any time. It's a long one.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Shalece and I were talking the other day and we were amazed at all that has happened over the past few weeks. Here's an overview of major events since I had my surgery.  The probability of all of these things happening together seems pretty staggering:

The 1995 Toyota Corrola - 240,000 Miles and Counting

The Corrola stoped working 3 days after my surgery. The engine would turn over, but it wouldn't start. We replaced the fuel pump about 2 years ago, so we suspect it might have stopped working again. "No problem," we say to ourselves. "We have the other car." (And I can't drive until my ankle is better anyway.) So, we let it sit. I plan to fix it as soon as I'm up and moving again. I would just send it to the shop, but the fuel pump is under warranty. My dad and I installed it ourselves, so I'll need to do it again myself unless I want to lose the $250 we invested in the pump.  Anyway, I have bigger things to worry about, so we just let it go.

The 1994 Oldsmobile Bravada - Rustiness 30% and Climbing

About a week later, Shalece goes out to start the Bravada so that we can go to physical therapy......and it won't start. We'd been having problems with the battery, but I serviced it the day before surgery, to prevent such a scenario. Anyway, the car won't start. So, now neither car is working and we've obviously got to do something about it.

The Corolla/Bravada Repair Day

Knowing that I'm going to be freezing and in pain to replace the battery in the Bravada, I hatch this brilliant plan to fix the fuel pump on the Toyota while I'm at it. (That was a really dumb idea, as you'll soon see.)  To get started, we dig out the receipt for the fuel pump. There's a hand written note on it saying that the pump has a lifetime warranty. Just to be safe, I call the store to make sure it is still under warranty and the guy on the phone says that every fuel pump they sell has at least a 5 year warranty. So, I do all of the diagnostic work to make sure that the pump really is the problem before I tear the car apart in the freezing cold. I do all of this over the phone with the help of my car guy (thanks, dad). It's kind of like calling Dell tech support........except the connection is good, I can understand the guy on the other end, he actually knows what he is talking about, the solution works, and I don't have to re-boot my car 7 times. We decide that it really is the fuel pump and I proceed with the extraction.

At this point, I'm sitting in my wheelchair outside the car door, trying to undo the fitting connecting the fuel line and the fuel pump. It is 20 degrees outside and my fingers and toes are freezing. We dug out some of those hunting hand warmers from our emergency kits and I put those under my toes on the bad foot, since I couldn't wear a real shoe or sock.

Anyway, I struggled for about an hour trying to get the fitting undone, using every wrench and tool in my arsenal. The fitting was really corroded and a little bit rounded off from the last repair. Plus, we put the fitting back on really, really tight last time, knowing that it was never going to come off again....ooops. The wrench, which was the right size, kept slipping over the fitting because it was rounded off from last time. I just couldn't get a good grip on it, so I called tech support again and talked to the car master.  My dad advised me to take the wrench that was too big and make it the right size by smashing it with a giant hammer. So, after about 10 whacks with a giant framing hammer, my 14mm wrench was a mangled 13.5mm wrench with a lot of personality. In desperate need of a miracle to expedite this process and save my fingers and toes from frostbite, I also decided to say a little prayer. Within minutes the fitting was undone and we were in business! By the way, I felt like an idiot for not thinking of that sooner.

Now that the fuel pump is out, we bother our neighbor (by the way, thanks Bekah) for a jump so that we can start the Bravada and go pick another battery and fuel pump. (The good news at this point is that I knew for sure it wouldn't be another Wal Mart battery! If you haven't heard about my previous experiences with Wal Mart and automotive issues, you can read about them here.) Anyway, we pick up a new battery and this time I don't mess around. I get an $80 battery with an 8 year warranty and 3 year free replacement. That's what I'm talkin' about! Although, to be honest, in the back of my mind I'm really just hoping the car lasts another 8 months, but that's a different story. I really don't want to get stranded again. It's really inconvenient, especially when you're on crutches.

Next, we stop at the auto parts store where we bought the fuel pump. I hobble into the store bundled up like the Malt O Meal kid and put the fuel pump on the counter. The guy then tells me that the warranty is only 1 year and in my mind I consider whether I'm going to hit him with just 1 crutch or with both of them. I explain to him that they told me it was a lifetime warranty, or at least a 5 year warranty, according to the guy on the phone. Eventually cooler heads prevail and I discover that cruches are better used for sympathy than as a weapon of mass destruction. To make part of a long story shorter, the manager feels sorry for me and decides to warranty the fuel pump.

So, we're off to install the new battery and fuel pump. I can almost feel my fingers and toes again, so it must be time to get back to work. My ankle is holding up fairly well at this point too, probably because it's mostly frozen. We get home and start working on the Toyota. After about 30 minutes the new fuel pump is in. We cycle the key a few times and finally I hear the pump kick on. The car starts right up and we're excited to be able to drive again. Next we tackle the Bravada.....

As I start to disconnect the battery cable on the Bravada, the entire mount breaks off and acid begins to ooze out of the spot where the post should be on the side of the battery. From past experience, I know that's not a good thing. To make matters worse, I can't lift the battery out because I'm on crutches, so Shalece has to reach down in there and try to get it out. It's dirty and nasty, as you can imagine. We finally get it out and drop it into a cardboard box so that we can take it back to the store and get the $9 credit for the core. As it turns out, this was the easy part.

Because the post broke off, there was nothing to grab onto to undo the bolt holding the battery cable to the post. I tried everything and couldn't get a good grip on it, so I had to use a screwdriver and scrape away all of the lead around the internal bolt until I could get a wrench on it. Unfortunately, this was a monotonous and difficult process which took nearly 2 hours to accomplish. I got to the end of my rope and decided to say another prayer of desperation.......and the thing was off within minutes. I felt like an idiot again and decided that I should have tried that approach 2 hours ago. Anyway, once the cable was off of the post, we dropped the new battery in and finished the job in about 5 minutes. The Bravada started right up and we felt good about both repair jobs, but not so good about the 7 hours we'd spent outside in the freezing cold. At least both cars were working and we'd be good for a few months......or so we thought.

The Bravada - Take 2

A few days later, because it was snowing and only 15 degrees outside, Shalece took the newly repaired Bravada grocery shopping. On her way home, she heard an explosion under the hood and the engine "started to sound like a train." She pulled over and called me. She called AAA and I called the mechanic we've been taking the cars to. AAA said she would have to wait an hour before they could have someone there to tow it. I couldn't drive because of the ankle, so our great neighbor (thanks again Bekah) offered to go sit with Shalece until the tow truck came. Bekah got there and they loaded about 30 bags of groceries from the Bravada into Bekah's car, while they waited on the expressway. The tow truck finally showed up and towed the Bravada away. We thought that this might be the last time we would see our old rusty friend.

A few days later, the mechanic calls and explains to me what happened. Apparently, one of the spark plugs exploded and blew out. So, that explains the loud noise Shalece heard. And, because the plug was gone, the engine was pushing air out of the plug hole, explaining the "train" sound Shalece described. From all I've heard, the probability of this happening is pretty low. Anyway, the mechanic fixed the one spark plug. I asked if we should change out the other ones while we were at it and he unwaveringly told me that he wouldn't do it. He said the car was so rusty and bad that he wouldn't work on it. He said he did me a favor by fixing that one and getting it running, but he didn't want to do anything else. You know your car is in bad shape when a shop won't even touch it in this type of down economy. Nevertheless, the Bravada cheated death again and we were only out about $60.....$4 for the plug and $56 for the labor. :-)

The Ankle after 4 Weeks

I had an appointment with the surgeon at 4 weeks to look at my ankle. He took one look and I could tell by his reaction that it wasn't good. The first thing he said is that they put me in the wrong boot. That wasn't comforting. My ankle wasn't healing up well at the top of the incision. The incision kept cracking open when I would walk or bend it too far, which really hurts, just in case you were wondering. Anyway, to help it heal and limit the movement, they put an Unna Boot cast on it. This is essentially something between a hard cast and a soft cast, which actually feels similar to getting your ankle taped. It goes on wet, but dries over a few days. The cast material has medicine in it, which creates an environment for healing, while also limiting the range of motion. On top of that goes a layer of gauze to absorb blood and fluid. To finish it off, they wrap it with Coban, which is the stretchy tape that sticks to itself, but not to your skin. Finally, they gave me a boot to wear over the cast. Russ described the boot best when he said it looked like the foot of a Transformer. I thought it looked like Optimus Prime's foot, but Russ thinks Sideswipe. Maybe you can chime in and help us decide.

The Ankle after 5 weeks

I went back 9 days later to get the cast changed because they really start to stink and get dried out. The nurse cut through the cast and started to take it off, but then stopped and said she was going to let the doctor take it off. I peeked in and knew that it wasn't going to be good. My incision had bled into the cast material and the scab had actually grown into the cast. It was already starting to pull the scab and the skin off around the incision, so I laid back and prepared myself for the inevitable. After a few minutes I sat up and waited for the doctor to come in. He came in, took a look, and pulled the cast off. As I suspected, the scab and everything hooked to it got ripped off with the cast. It literally made me sick to my stomach to look down and see the hole that was in my leg. It was disheartening and depressing to know that I had a long road ahead and that I would have to start my physical therapy from square one again. Anyway, they put another cast on, but this time they put a non-adhesive screen over the incision/hole before putting the cast on.

The Ankle after 6 Weeks

My foot hurt so bad for about 3 days after getting the scab torn off. I could barely get out of bed or move around. By about the 4th day I could walk a little bit in the boot with crutches. After 7 days I went back to the doctor to get the cast changed again. I went in expecting the worst. I had been praying all week that the same thing wouldn't happen again. This time the nurse cut off the boot and thankfully it wasn't stuck to the incision. The non-adhesive shield had done its job. I was hoping that they would just leave that shield on, but the doctor made the nurse take that off too. Thankfully, it didn't stick to the wound. I was kind of surprised to see that the hole was filled in because it was pretty deep the last time I saw it. They put another cast on and told me to come back in 7 to 10 days. I'm really hoping this will be the last one and that the incision heals up once and for all. It hasn't been fun....obviously.

The Hard Drive

In between ankle cast numbers 2 and 3, my hard drive decided to take a dive. I went to access my files in the morning one day and the folders were there, but all of the contents of some of the folders were missing. Interestingly, the space was still taken up on the drive, there was just no way to access the files. After trying for days to get to the data using all types of recovery programs, I realized that the drive was bad and that I wasn't going to be able to get some of the files off of it. Thankfully, I had the computer set to back up critical files to another hard drive, but there were certain types of files that it didn't duplicate, like all of my video files. In total, I lost about 200 gigabytes of video, which isn't trivial. We were able to recover most of the family videos of the kids, so it could have been much worse. If I've learned anything about hard drives it's not a matter of if they will fail, but more a matter of when they will fail. The only solution I've been able to come up with to resolve this problem is to always have data on 2 drives and hope they don't both fail at the same time.

After spending about a week trying to recover data and bring my computer back up to speed, the replacement hard drive came, as it was under warranty still. Believe it or not, this drive was also bad. When you warranty a drive, they send you a re-certified drive, not a new one. When I configured the computer and installed the new drive, it started making a loud screaching sound, which Shalece heard from the other room. And, if you know my kids, that must have been loud for her to hear it over them! Anyway, in the world of computers, this is known as the scream of death. Whenever you hear that sound, you try to back up your data ASAP because the drive is going to die shortly. The new-old drive had some other issues, in addition to the screaming, so I called Western Digital and they're sending me another new-old drive....again. I'm actually hoping they run out of new-old drives and that they have to send me a new one.

The Bravada - Take 3

Seriously? This is starting to look more like an episode of Seinfeld than our life, but I promise it's real. Anyway, we came home a few days ago and I noticed that the exhaust pipe of the Bravada looked funny. I went over and hit it with my crutch and it swung back and forth. As it turns out, the pipe actually broke into 2 pieces and is balancing by the bracket it hangs on. Shalece got down there to look at it, but it wasn't easy to see the pipe, so she brought out a chair and a flashlight and I took a peek. Rather than fix it, we decided to just take the pipe off. Shalece thought she would just break it off with a hammer because it was so rusty. She grabbed the giant framing hammer I used earlier to smash the wrench and gave it a few powerful whacks, but it didn't come off. At least she was able to get the cathartic release that comes from smacking a rusty piece of metal with another piece of metal.

Instead of breaking it off, we decided to try to unhook the pipe from the bracket. I tried for a while, but couldn't turn the pipe enough to get it free, so then I tried to cut through it with some tin snips. However, the space was too tight and I couldn't get a good grip on the snips, so I went for the next tool at my disposal, which just so happend to be Chef Tony's Miracle Blade II All Purpose Knife. I'm not kidding. In the commercial they say you can cut through a can with it and still slice a tomato, so why not cut through a thick rubber exhaust mount? The reason.....because the rubber exhaust mount has a thick piece of metal on the inside, which is apparently thicker than the can Chef Tony cuts through on the commercial! Anyway, with some maneuvering and a few oversized screwdrivers, we were able to finally get the tailpipe off.

Unfortunately, there ended up being a lot more pipe involved than we thought. This introduces the possibiltiy of exhaust making its way into the car, which is something we definitely don't need right now. So fearing that we might all die as we drive down the freeway (assuming the car stays alive long enough to take another drive), I decide to see how much it would be to fix the tailpipe. The guy at the muffler shop bids the job at $150, even though I told him I only need the car to last a few more months. I obviously don't want to drop another 150 bucks into this car. In fact, I don't even want to fill up the gas tank, knowing I might be leaving $20 in gas in it when it dies. (I kind of have to keep it full though, as the gas guage hasn't worked for over a year.)

Knowing that we need the car to make it a few more months, I devise another idiotic plan to fix the exhaust myself. So, I head to the auto parts store and buy an exhaust repair kit for $12.79. It's the same place I got the fuel pump and it's not like they forgot the bundled up guy on the crutches. I get the stuff and we go to work, and, by the way, it's still freezing cold outside. Shalece backed the Bravada up onto the little curb in front of our house so that I could slide under the car and try to fix the pipe. When I finally get under there, I realize that the pipe is bent in an S-shape, making the repair quite difficult. To fix the pipe, you're supposed to wrap a piece of thin sheet metal over the pipe and clamp it down with hose clamps. This works great on a straight piece of pipe. It also works on a bent pipe, but not as well and it's definitely not pretty. With the exception of my Tranformer boot getting stuck between the ground and the bottom of the car, and the rust flaking off in my face, and my fingers freezing, and getting covered in grease, I think the repair job went well. I had to improvise with a few extra hose clamps and a hammer, but exhaust was coming out of the end of the pipe and that's way better than it coming out inside the car. Anyway, I take comfort knowing that we can spend the $137 we saved on the next thing that breaks. :-)

Russ and the Head Bump

When I was at the doctor getting ankle cast #3, the school nurse called to say that Russ had fallen and hit his head on a bookcase. She said he was fine and they released him to go back to class. We checked him out when he got home and he seemed fine, but we wanted to monitor him just to make sure. Well, he woke up about 1am on Thursday and just started puking his guts out, which is symptomatic of a concussion. So, we called the pediatrician about 4am and she said to take him to the ER. So, Shalece took him in and explained all that had happened with the bump to his head. They gave him an IV to take some blood and give him some fluids and then they ran a CT Scan. As it turned out, everyting looked good with the CT scan, but Russ was also complaining of a stomach ache, so they examined him to rule out appendicitis. That's a jump.....from concussion to appendicitis, but they wanted to make sure. They released him about 8am and he came home. He wouldn't eat or drink anything and he just slept all day without moving much. That evening, he had a fever and his eyes and body started to twitch involuntarily a few times, which was really scary. We got on the phone with the nurse at the doctor's office and she had us do a bunch of tests. We took him in the next day to the pediatrician and they suspected that it was some type of flu virus or something. What's the probability of smacking your head on a bookcase and getting a flu bug that mimics the symptoms of a concussion? I'm not sure, but it's been that kind of month. Anyway, he seemed to be doing better Friday as the day went on, but Saturday morning he threw up all over the place again. Shalece was yelling for someone to bring her a bowl, but I didn't have the Transformer boot on, so I couldn't move. Brandon just looked around, wondering what was happening. Anyway, by Sunday Russ seemed to be getting back to normal. He still isn't eating a lot, but he's feeling better.

In Summary

So, as you can see, it's been a crazy month. Personally, we can't wait for this month to be over. In fact, it couldn't possibly end soon enough. It's now the 31st of January and what started out as a simple blog post to detail our car trouble at the beginning of the month has evolved into a rambling, long-winded novel of just some of the things we've been up against as a family since December. Anyway, we're not complaining; we're just trying to share this with people who wonder what's been going on, while also trying to document these events so that we can reflect upon them later and realize that things could be worse. In fact, after a certain point, it's almost kind of funny to step back and think of the probability of all of these things happening back-to-back-back-to............back-to-back. Anyway, we're hanging in there and hope you are too.

Pain State University 2.0

2009-12-28T16:07:00.018-05:00

Well, it's been a long time since I've been able to sit down and blog. In between physical therapy exercises, icing my ankle, and popping pills, I've finally found a few minutes to post some pictures of my recent surgery. If you're an overly empathetic person, you may want to skip this post. Anyway, here's the past 2 weeks in a nutshell:

Day 2 - This is after coming home from my post-op appointment. Nurse Shalece is helping me clean up the area. It looks like they dipped my foot in the antiseptic. That stuff is very hard to get off, especially when you're hurting. If you look closely, you can still see the surgeon's purple signature on my leg. Not that you care, but he's the same doc that fixes up the football players (and even the head coach on several occasions).

Day 2 - you can see the blood oozing out. When they cut off the bandages at the office, I leaked blood all over the floor. It bled pretty good for a while, as you might expect with an incision that large.

Day 2 - Another dressing change. I started physical therapy today and they had me walking on it. That's not helping the incision heal up! I was actually happy to lose the blood, however, as it saves me from having to do a phlebotomy for a while, but that's a different story all together.

Day 4 - Still bleeding pretty good. Walking on it really pulls the incision apart. The bottom seems to be healing quite a bit faster than the top.

Day 5 - The bleeding is slowing down, but the skin is still slipping past itself on both sides of the incision. There's quite a bit of movement in the skin around the ankle bone, as it turns out.

Day 9 - The bottom part of the incision is healing up very nicely, but the top part keeps tearing apart when I walk on it. In the morning I can feel the skin stretch and it feels like it is tearing apart from the inside out. The physical therapist looked at it and said I should go in and see the doc, so I did. The PA said it looked good. He told me to keep walking on it, but not to bend my ankle. Seriously? You guys should try it sometime. It just doesn't work.

Day 12 - Even the 'peg leg' pirate walk wouldn't keep the incision from separating, so I've been in the wheelchair for the past 4 days, including Christmas. It obviously doesn't hurt as bad when you don't move it, but I suspect it's not going to be fun walking on it again. The incision has sealed up quite a bit more over the past 4 days.

Day 13 - I got the stitches out today. That was really fun. The PA put steri strips over the incision to hold it together. The yellow stuff on both sides of the incision is glue to make sure the strips don't come off. I started walking on it with crutches again today. I was right, it wasn't fun. The skin feels like it is going to tear, which is slightly disconcerting. I'm trying to ease back into the exercises so I can get back to where I was 5 days ago. Hopefully the physical therapist will take that into consideration. I'll try to keep you posted, in my spare time.........

Finally Some Pics....Lots of Them!

2009-09-17T11:22:00.013-04:00

Things have been really crazy around here the past few months, so there hasn't been a lot of time for blogging. I finally took a break from the insanity and posted some pictures. These were taken between March and September 2009.

Just a glimpse of how much fun it is to tackle a dissertation.

Russ's birthday at Texas Roadhouse.

I'm not sure where he learns these poses...maybe Zoolander.

Coloring Easter Eggs with grandma.

Yes, that actually IS a roma tomato in the Easter Basket. I like to keep them guessing.

A little Wii action. Brandon is actually holding a remote control to an old air conditioner, but he thinks it works.

Russ didn't have a pirate patch, so he improvised by taking out one of the lenses in his sunglasses.

A night spent preparing my job applications. Ultimately, I burned through 4 boxes of paper. Yeah, that's about 20,000 sheets of paper. This is just the last phase of stuffing the envelopes. You don't want to know how long it took to print all of this stuff and you really don't want to know how much it cost to mail it.

Here are the stuffed envelopes. I quit counting after 150!

Russ fell asleep while sitting in time out.

4th of July weekend at a local cafe with the grandparents.

Russ burned completely through the inside of the training wheel.

Brandon isn't afraid to "open up a can of whoop...", well, you get the point.

The Creamery. Seriously, it's the best ice cream on the planet.

This is the suit that was deemed 'unfit' for Marketing. It's a long story. I'll tell you later if you haven't heard it yet.

2 years old!

The white car takes the 'walk of shame' to the shop. At 238,000 miles, I can't imagine why stuff is starting to wear out.

Almost as bad as the real thing!

Priceless.

Man, these guys sure are getting old!

The BYU women's soccer game against West Virginia. BYU won in overtime. It was a great game.

First day of kindergarten, pose included free of charge.

Hopefully that tides you over for a while. Who knows when I'm going to have time to post again. I've got to find a job, you know!

UPDATE Places We Won't Be Moving (Part 2)

2009-06-20T18:06:00.018-04:00

As many of you know, I've spent the past few months preparing for the job market, which officially began last week. (OK, I've actually spent that past decade thinking about getting a job, but that doesn't count....does it?) It's crazy, but there is no systematic way to know exactly which universities are hiring, so the strategy in my field is to mail your applications everywhere and see what happens. It's brilliant, I know, especially when they have over 200 pages of information inside them. Trust me, this process kills trees faster than a forest fire and wastes tons of time in the process, as I'll be ranting about at a later date. Anyway, while it is still way too soon to tell where we might be moving, several schools have already contacted me to let us know where we won't be going, as they unfortunately aren't hiring this year. Thus far, here's the list of places that are no longer in the running:

Colorado State University
University of Kentucky
University of Oklahoma
University of South Carolina
University of Utah
University of Washington
Washington State University
Brigham Young University
University of Arizona
University of Colorado
University of Hawaii.....Sorry Mom
Boise State....No Blue Turf :-(
University of Missouri
University of New Mexico
Ohio State University
Villanova
Texas A&M

I'll keep you updated, as if you really care where we move! I'm sure you just hope it's far away from you.

Russ's Graduation

2009-06-07T20:43:00.002-04:00

I'm obviously too busy lately to blog, but here's a link to some pics of Russ with his friend Abby. Hopefully this will tide you over for a while. Thanks, Andersons, for letting me steal your post.

Expect Delays

2009-05-24T18:51:00.005-04:00

Well, it looks like my blogging drought is going to continue a bit longer. I just found out last week that the deadline for my 'job market packet' is being moved up 1 month. Don't give up on me.....I'll be back sometime. The next 3 weeks are going to be interesting!

Stay Tuned

2009-05-03T16:52:00.011-04:00

I recently realized that I haven't posted on the blog for a while. A lot has been going on lately.....there's the data collection for my dissertation, a surgery that never happened, lecturing to undergrads, grading, and applying for jobs. Anyway, I want everyone to know that as soon as this semester is over, I'll be filling you in on all of the interesting events that have occurred during the past few months. Stay tuned for: crazy student stories from Spring 2009, my experience with Dirk at the computer repair shop, Russell's wild ride on his birthday, someone hitting our car with a moving truck, and my unrelated experience getting the car fixed at Firestone (it wasn't even Wal Mart this time). See you soon.

A "Swift" Response to Morgan's Video

2009-03-15T09:42:00.014-04:00

As many of you know, one of Russ's best friends, Morgan, moved to Idaho a few months ago. Several weeks ago, the Deans posted a video of Morgan singing a Taylor Swift song. (You can see the American Idol audition video here. Scroll down to the January 31st post.) Since then, Russ has asked to watch "Morgan's Song" every single day. After enjoying her song for the last month, Russ finally decided to respond in kind with his own version of "Our Song" (back-up dancer included).

One of the Many Reasons I Love Chile

2009-01-31T19:24:00.029-05:00

Having spent a few years living in Chile, I really miss the country sometimes. After seeing these pictures, I remember why. I want to thank my friend Eduardo Esteffan for these amazing pictures from the land down South. There are definitely some rough neighborhoods in Chile, so you always want to dissuade thieves as much as possible. I'm sure this should do the trick.

Some of the meat markets are a little different than those we see in the US. This one advertises its chicken as the kind that doesn't taste like fish.

This picture is interesting because it says the beach can only be used for sunbathing....not picnics or tents.

This picture pretty much speaks for itself, but just in case you were wondering, "malo" means broken.

There's a reason why pirated goods are cheaper in Chile.

This is somewhat disturbing, but particularly funny if you've ever walked through a Chilean cemetery. We actually took a similar picture when we were there.

If you speak Spanish, you're probably laughing your head off right now. I'm not even going to translate this one.

A typical road sign, with the exception of the 4th destination, which when translated means "take off underwear - 4 kilometers".

I'm not sure why this is so funny, except for the fact that I saw hundreds of these guys while I was there.

Yes, this is a dental office....just in case you were wondering. Ahhh, only in Chile.

Another funny street sign: "Drive with Care - There Aren't Kids to Spare Here".

Ever wonder which type of meat you are buying? Ponder no more!

The economy must be especially bad when adult stores are branching out to new customers by adding mariscos (seafood) to their offerings.

This must be a special product line that GM only introduces in the Chilean market.

This one is beyond me: "Esteemed Patient, Please Do Not Urinate in the Wastebasket - Thank You".

I'm not even going to touch this one, but trust me, it's funny. If you must know, ask a Spanish speaking friend. I'm not responsible though.

Everyone Wants Pictures

2009-01-31T18:17:00.017-05:00

OK. OK. I get it. Everyone wants to see more pictures of the kids. Here you go: This is usually how things end up after playing. We're trying to get Brandon to put the toys inside the container......but this is a good start.

Brandon really needs the shades because it is so sunny here in the winter time.....ask anyone who has been here from October through March.

Millions of dollars spent by grandparents on toys and this is what gets played with the most?

Shalece somehow took this amazing picture of a squirrel ransacking Russ's homemade bird feeder. Hey, it's not just a tough economy for humans.....ask any squirrel whose nut supply is down 40%.

Russ and Brandon helping me weigh my bags before my last data collection expedition.

Again, mountains of toys and these get all the attention?

A recent trip to a local cafe for a treat on a freezing cold night. Russ made it to the counter and ordered his ice cream before the rest of us even made it through the door. He's tricky that way. You should see him at restaurants.

Uncle Wade sent us this slingshot chicken, which unfortunately only made 1 flight. Mr. Chicken was decapitated on his second take-off. As a poultry specialist, I attempted surgery, but results of the operation are still pending.

Finally, a shot of the boys around Christmas time.

I hope that tides everyone over for a while.

Maintenance Man Quiz Answers

2009-01-25T20:01:00.010-05:00

Well I must say that the "Maintenance Man" post received quite a bit of attention. If you didn't catch the original post, you can click here to read it. Given the overwhelming response, I held out a few extra days before posting the answer. Anyway, without further ado, I present you with the answers: 1) Tuna fish can lid used to cover 4 inch hole: TRUE 2) Shelves falling down...put back in same place...shelves falling down again: TRUE 3) Karate kick to the screen door: TRUE (and quite funny to watch) 4) Flooded room...fan...'mushrooms growin': TRUE 5) Hole in the tub...green silicone: TRUE 6) Musical burner modules and elements on the stove: TRUE (frustratingly) 7) Dishwasher element replacement...eventual flood: TRUE 8) Crooked, off-center, uneven dishwasher install: TRUE (I couldn't make this up if I tried) 9) Towel rack...loose bar...$32 bill...Shalece losing her cool: TRUE & FALSE Everything was true except the part where Shalece told them to "come take their @$&*$#@* towel rack back." She actually didn't swear...but the rest was true and she was out for blood :-) . OK, so it was kind of a trick quiz, but you get the point. Ultimately, this stuff is much funnier when it doesn't happen to you. I'm glad you guys had fun laughing at our misfortunes. I'm confident it won't be the last time!

High Maintenance Family Seeks Qualified Maintenance Man . . . Seriously

2009-01-07T20:48:00.024-05:00

Living in an apartment has all kinds of perks. There's the money you throw away each month in rent, the common walls you share with neighbors, and the guys that come fix stuff when it's broken. We salute these gentlemen with the following quiz. Can you identify which event did NOT actually take place with our apartment's maintenance workers? It may be harder than you think! I'll reveal the one correct answer next week. Here are the choices: After we found a 4 inch hole through the foundation of our apartment, a maintenance worker attempted to fix it using the lid from a tuna fish can and some silicone. After the shelves in our closet collapsed, ripping the drywall anchors out of the wall, the maintenance worker fixed the shelves by putting them back in the same place, after which the shelves immediately fell down again. When replacing our sliding screen door, the maintenance worker karate kicked the door, bending it in half, before determining if the new door would fit. Ooops. After one of the bedrooms flooded, rather than pulling the carpet up, the maintenance worker said, “Just throw a fan on it.” When we asked if the property manager would replace our carpet once mold started growing, the maintenance worker responded, “They aint gonna replace it unless it turns black and has mushrooms growin’ on it.” After we noticed a hole in our bathtub, the maintenance worker said, “I can fix it, but all I got is some fluorescent green silicone. You want me to put that on it?” When the burner on our stove went out, the maintenance worker put in a module for a smaller sized burner, rather than a large one. When the burner wouldn't get hot enough, he put in a new heating element. When that didn’t work, he tried another wrong sized module. When I suggested that maybe the stove uses two different sized modules, he looked at me like I was an idiot. As it turns out, the stove uses two different sized modules. When our dishwasher stopped working, the maintenance worker replaced the heating element, but failed to tighten it, so as soon as we turned it on, water flooded our kitchen. When our dishwasher still didn't work, the maintenance worker tried his hardest to remove the handle so he could get inside it. After 5 minutes of pulling, twisting, and straining, he realized that he needed to remove a screw to get the handle off. He then turned to me and said, "Man, I feel pretty stupid." When the maintenance worker finally decided to install a new dishwasher, he and his partner put it in crooked and uneven so that the door would not close and the front was several inches higher than the back. Noticing the asymmetry, I asked if the front was supposed to be a different height than the back. In response, the maintenance worker said, "You want it to be lower in the back, 'cause that's where the drain is." After they left, I opened it up and saw that the drain was in the middle. Hence, I reinstalled it. This time level, straight, and in the center of the opening. When the towel rack broke in the bathroom, the maintenance worker attempted to install the new one using the same brackets, but the bar was too big. Next he put the new brackets in the same holes, but the bar was too short. Instead of moving the brackets, he carefully balanced the bar between the two brackets and left. As soon as we touched the bar, it immediately fell to the ground. The property manager sent us a bill for $32. Shalece callled the property manager and told them to come take their @$%&*$#@* towel rack back. We bought one for $4.88 from our favorite store.......... Wal Mart! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- For the record, I hold the property manager responsible for many of these problems. By not paying the maintenance workers well, not training them appropriately, and not providing them with the resources needed to properly do their job, the property manager sets them up for failure. Maybe that's why there's a new maintenance man every month. Get a clue property manager!

Utah...Worthy of Respect? You Decide!

2009-01-03T11:00:00.013-05:00

Rather than spend time writing about Utah's historic night, I thought I would put together a list of links to articles, pictures, and videos that really capture the impact of this win for the U of U. What can I say that hasn't already been said? Utah's win is a big deal, not only for Ute fans, but for the Mountain West Conference and all of the non BCS schools that are disrespected by the system year after year. I'm glad that Utah has found a way to demonstrate this to the country...not once...but twice. Anyway, here are the links: Sports Center Recap & Highlights ESPN Post Game Commentary Fox Sports Article Rivals.com/Yahoo Article USA Today Article New York Times Article NBC Sports Article Deseret News Article and Slideshow Salt Lake Tribune Article and Fan Interviews

Seriously Wal Mart? No...Seriously?

2008-12-30T21:21:00.021-05:00

If you've ever shopped at Wal Mart, this post is a must read. Seriously! As I began writing this post, I thought that maybe I should disguise the name of the merchant who was responsible for our unbelievable shopping experiences. The more I thought about it, the more futile it seemed, as everyone who's ever shopped at Wal Mart would know exactly who I was talking about. And, since you're reading this, the odds are pretty good that you've shopped there sometime during your life. Just to be clear, I'm not fond of Wal Mart for lots of reasons. Nevertheless, there's something that keeps pulling us back...kind of like a black hole. I'm not going to get into the pros and cons of shopping at Wally World, at least not now. What I am going to do is tell you about just one of our many 'interesting' experiences at the nation's largest retailer. So about a year ago, I bought a battery for our precious 95 Toyota Corolla from Wal Mart. I took in the old one, the guy looked in his little parts book, and we matched it. The battery cost like $40, which is pretty cheap for a battery, but the car has 240,000 miles on it, so we didn't want to put a lot of money into it. (My dad is probably tearing his hair out as he reads this, as I know he would have put a $130 Interstate brand battery in it.) The battery came with a 3 year warranty. Fast-forward a year and the battery dies. I go back into Wal Mart to have it warrantied and they tell me that they have no record of a battery for the Toyota. They say they put it in an Oldsmobile Bravada SUV. We spend what seems like an eternity straightening this out and they finally agree to load test the battery to make sure it is really dead. OK. Fine. However, the guy then tells me that the battery that is in the Toyota is the wrong one, meaning not the one the book recommends. Because of that, they can't work on my car. I tried to explain how they sold me the battery, but to no avail. Therefore, I have to pull the battery out of the car myself - in the Wal Mart parking lot - and carry it in and have them test it. I begrudgingly do this and guess what? An hour later they tell me my battery is bad. Oh, I wonder if that is why my car wouldn't start! The man at the back counter - I think his name was Leroy or something - hands me the old battery and a new one just like it and tells me to go to Customer Service at the front of the store. So I wheel this nasty battery up to the front and finally get the warranty worked out - I still had to pay $20 because it was pro-rated and past the 1 year mark. Then, I'm pushing my new battery back to the automotive department, dodging grandmas and Amish folks on my way. After I finally make it back, I'm off again to complete my parking lot 'do it yourself' install of the new wrong battery. Unfortunately, the story doesn't end there, but let's jump to scene 2. So while I was waiting for the auto gurus (I use that word extremely liberally, not to offend the real automotive gurus of the world) to load test the old battery, I started asking about tires for the car. I had already checked a few other places, so I just wanted to see what Wal Mart had to say. Plus, it was so boring; I needed something to do besides hang out with the regulars chillin' on the benches at the back of the store talking about guns 'n huntin'. The worker - this time I think it was Earl - quoted me a price, but told me they didn't have any in stock. Shocker! Wal Mart not have something commonplace that I need? The price for the tires was comparable to the other places I checked out. All things being equal, I prefer to give my money to somebody other than Wal Mart. I had to wait a few weeks to get the tires though because I was right in the middle of preparing for my dissertation proposal defense. Well, that few weeks passed and today I tried to make an appointment for new tires and an oil change. Unfortunately, everybody else that drives a car in the middle of this great state had the same plan. To make a long story short, I could get in at Wal Mart and get both done at the same time, or so I thought. Plus, we picked up a nice $50 gift card to this fine establishment for Christmas from some good friends of ours. (Thanks again. You know who you are. We really do appreciate it.) The gift card covered the cost of one of the tires, so we decided to use it. We roll into Wally's and get things started. I tell the guy - this time it's Bubba or something - what I want to do. I give him the tire size and my car info. He comes out to my car and opens every door hunting for something. I finally ask him what he's looking for and he said that he wanted to be sure to put the right tires on it. OK. Whatever! I've been driving it for almost 10 years with 185 65 14s on it. I'm sure they'll work. He finds nothing, so he does the next best thing. He looks at the tires on it. What do you know? They're the same size I just told him. During this, he notices that I don't have PA tags on the car. Having passed by the license plate several times already in his search for the magic tire sticker, he asks where I'm from. (Seriously, this part could be a deleted scene from the movie "Dumb and Dumber".) I nicely told him that I was from Utah. He looks around and says, "Ya'll don't get much snow out thar in Utah do ya?" Given that both license plates have a picture of a skier and say "SKI UTAH," I wasn't quite sure how to respond. Next he comments how the apparent lack of snow has left my car is in pretty good condition, and the only thing I could think of was a line from the movie Tommy Boy where Richard (David Spaid) says to Tommy (the late Chris Farley), "You hang onto a car this cherry!" I didn't say it, but I should have. We got back into the store and did the paperwork. He gives me the order and I take it out to the guy running the shop - I think his name was Chester. We go over everything and he seems to understand my Western accent well enough (and I didn't even say 'dude'). Then I tell him that I also need my oil changed. He says, "Wait a minute. That's gonna take 'bout 2 hours longer cuz we'll have to pull it in to do the tires, then pull it out, then pull it back in to change the oil." I didn't say anything, but the look on my face must have said it all because he looked at me and said, "We aint no shop. We can't just do it all at once." I didn't argue the point. They're definitely not a shop! Anyway, given the way things started out, I decided to go back out and secretly mark my tires with a pen to make sure they put them in the places I requsted. (I was only buying 2 and I wanted to make sure they put the best ones back on.) Maybe I'm paranoid, but these guys weren't giving me many reasons to feel confident. So I ran some errands for about 4 hours and then came back to pick up the car. As I checked out, I asked the worker - Billy or Bobby - about the warrantee and how it worked. He looked up and said, "You aint got no wurunteee." I mentioned that I thought the tires had a 40,000 mile pro-rated warrantee. "You aint got 'no mile' wurrunteee," was his reply. "You gotta pay an extra $25 per tire for a wurrunteee and you aint got none." I sighed and remembered where I was. Then he stuck it to me even more as he said, "You aint even got no free rotatin' or balancin' cuz you din't pay fer it...that's an extra 10 bucks a tire." Hmmm, that information might have been more useful if explained to me BEFORE I bought the tires and paid the bill. I wonder if they know that I can't buy a warrantee if they don't present it to me. Oh well, when you shop at Wal Mart it's their way or the highway...even if their way is less than optimal. With all of this drama, I couldn't help but wonder if I was experiencing the pinnacle of a market economy. In the "Wealth of Nations" the economist Adam Smith wrote of a metaphorical "invisible hand" that operates in the marketplace. Theoretically, as entities pursue their own interests, they also promote the good of the community. As each entity maximizes returns for itself, it is also maximizing returns for society as a whole. Man, would I love to take Adam Smith to Wal Mart! I'd like to see what he thinks after being slapped silly by the "invisible hand." Unfortunately, he died in 1790 before he could see his theory square off with the Wal Marts of the world. Anyway, back to the story. Somehow I wasn't too surprised by this. It's like being surprised that the school yard bully is being mean. We've just had too many experiences like this with Wal Mart. So after I paid the man, he gave me my receipt, and I started walking away. But, as I looked at it, I noticed that it says they checked a bunch of stuff on my car. I realize that they've passed both of my brake lights. Interestingly, the one on the passenger side has been out for a few months. (I know dad. Sorry. I keep meaning to fix it. It's not as easy without a garage.) Being the nice, but annoying person that I am, I decide to confront Billy/Bobby about this. He gives me some stupid excuse like it being an intermittent problem, saying that it could have been on when they tested it, but it might be off now. While I was impressed by his use of the word 'intermittent', I KNEW that the bulb was bad and that he was just trying to deceive me with big words. He apparently didn't know that I was the 5th grade spelling bee champion (or that my dad is a mechanic). Anyway, he tells me to go talk to the tech, who turns out to be Bubba from before. Bubba and I walk out to the car again. I get in and press the brake and sure enough, the light is out. Amazing how intermittent it is! Anyway, I finally tell him it's been out for months, just to see what he'll say next. Then comes a real crowd pleaser.....He tells me that they check all of the lights, but they use a mirror. Because they use the mirror, they can just see that light is coming from a general area, but they can't tell which lights are working specifically. What? Are you serious? So, if I get my lights checked at Wal Mart, I may know that some of my lights are working...or that the lights on the car next to mine are working...or that the lights are on in the shop (oh wait, it aint no shop, I forgot). Excellent! Finally, as I'm now approaching 5 hours of fun filled drama, the man reminds me to come back after 50 miles to make sure my lug nuts are tight. Tight? At this point I'm wondering if they even put them back on! Ultimately, this is just a typical day in the life when it comes to Wal Mart. I'm sure we're not alone in dealing with this retail juggernaut. Ironically, while we shop at Wal Mart primarily to save money, there is a high cost to their low prices. This experience represents just one of those costs. Nevertheless, in spite of everything, we'll be back. We don't really have a choice. And that's just the way it goes. Thanks Wal Mart. See you tomorrow. I can't wait! Seriously!

You've Heard of 'Breathe Right'....... Now There's 'Gas Right'

2008-12-29T18:15:00.007-05:00

In high school some of my friends developed a similar stealth technology for group dates and Stake Dances. Now you can buy it right off the shelf....sort of. I 'cut' this clip from SNL the other night.

Whittingham's Ute Movement

2008-12-26T11:28:00.027-05:00

I saw this article written by Dan Wetzel about Kyle Whittingham and the Utes this morning. You can follow this link to Rivals.com or read the full story below. Whittingham's Ute Movement SALT LAKE CITY – Kyle Whittingham is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He went to high school in Provo, Utah, rooting for the church’s official university, Brigham Young. He was later a star linebacker for the Cougars, named the league defensive player of the year in 1981.

It made his decision back in 2004 one of the most unique possible.

He was simultaneously offered the head coaching job at both BYU and Utah, where he was the defensive coordinator.

The two schools are bitter rivals, making this an unheard of situation – like choosing to coach Florida or Florida State, Auburn or Alabama, Michigan or Ohio State?

Only this was even more difficult. The rivalry between the two isn’t just fueled by proximity. Religion plays a huge part in a state dominated by Mormons. “An agonizing decision,” Whittingham calls it today. “There were a lot of factors. It took me four or five days to make it.”

When BYU calls the odds are a Mormon, let alone an alumnus, will answer. Whittingham didn’t. In a move that stunned some of his own family, he stayed at Utah, choosing, in some minds, state over church. He considers it continuing the job of building the Ute program – he’d been at the school 11 seasons as an assistant.

He understands some see it the other way.

He isn’t spending much time worrying about it. In his fourth season, Whittingham has duplicated Urban Meyer’s once unheard of success here. The Utes are 12-0 and ranked seventh in the country as they prepare for a Sugar Bowl matchup with No. 4 Alabama.

Utah has always been a unique place. It’s the flagship state school in a state where the majority of the populace answers to their own higher calling. BYU is the place for Mormons.

Former Utah basketball coach Rick Majerus said the challenge of coaching at Utah was recruiting. Outside the state, Utah is seen as a Mormon school, which might not appeal to non-Mormons. Inside Utah, it’s considered the state school, which might not appeal to Mormons.

While Whittingham admits “we have to dispel some myths from time to time,” he’s taken a different tact in building the program.

Rather than being defined as church or state, why not be both? It’s Utah Football 2.0.

A devout Mormon, Whittingham has made the program both “more” Mormon and “more” attractive to recruits from across the country of any religious, racial or cultural background.

Fifty-five players and half the coaching staff are members of the LDS. Forty-seven players are returned missionaries, a two-year service to the church that takes them out of college that Whittingham encourages. The coach has included voluntary prayer in the program and set up a weekly “Institute of Religion” class, which features the study of the Book of Mormon for those interested.

“I think we have a great environment for LDS athletes,” Whittingham said. At the same time, Whittingham has been able to build on Meyer’s momentum with out of state recruits.

One of the reasons he chose Utah over BYU was his belief that being the big-city state school offered advantages with non-Mormon recruits. In blunt terms, that means attracting African Americans to a state that’s overwhelmingly white. Salt Lake City is home to the LDS Church, but is also a relatively cosmopolitan and diverse community.

“I thought we were just scratching the surface for what we could do,” he said of his time working for Meyer. “We can recruit speed and athleticism here. We get a kid on this campus we have a great chance of signing him.”

The combination, Whittingham believed, made the Utah job more promising than BYU, even if conventional coaching wisdom suggested otherwise at the time.

The current success bears it out. Quarterback Brian Johnson hails from Texas and his top two receivers, Freddie Brown and Brent Casteel, are from California. All are African Americans. It’s the same for most of the defensive secondary. The combination of success and stability means this isn’t just a one-year wonder program. Utah is only getting better.

It starts mostly with Whittingham. His devotion to his church has never wavered. He rarely misses one of the weekly classes and often gives his own “firesides,” an LDS tradition where he can speak on a religious theme for over an hour.

Out at alumni dinners and recruiting functions he’s even found one of his best applause lines – and jabs at BYU – right out of Mormon doctrine.

After Whittingham decided to choose the Utes over the Cougars, one of his cousins was studying the LDS’ book of “Doctrine and Covenants.” He came across Section 133 verse 48, called Whittingham and told him that choosing Utah over BYU made sense.

“And the Lord shall be red in his apparel,” the verse begins. “See,” Whittingham said, laughing. “It was right there in the Doctrine and Covenants the whole time.”

Now only if it said something about beating the Crimson Tide.

Dan Wetzel is Yahoo! Sports' national columnist and author.

Christmas Morning...Oh the Energy!

2008-12-25T17:51:00.010-05:00

I think this first video pretty much says it all.

Not all 'Tools' are from Tooele

2008-12-24T16:20:00.026-05:00

In urban vernacular, the word 'Tool' has various meanings, including: (1) one who lacks mental capacity, (2) someone who is a complete idiot, and (3) a person characterized by low intelligence.

When I saw this announcement from Heritage West Credit Union the other day, all of those meanings came to mind........ Not only is it NOT called "Tool Federal Credit Union," it's NOT even called Tooele Federal Credit Union anymore. Plus, if you're going to go to the trouble of scamming credit union members, you should at least know how to pronounce the name of the town the majority of them live in. I think it's safe to say that whoever did this is NOT a local, hence my conclusion that not all 'Tools' are from Tooele.

Russ Video Blogs + Dito Drops In

2008-12-24T13:48:00.016-05:00

Still Haven't Found the Right Gift? Look No Further!

2008-12-24T07:21:00.013-05:00

For the person who seems to have everything, now there's John Ham! Shopping for presents can be a daunting task, particularly for that special someone who seems to have it all. Well, look no further my friends.

Russ Feeding Brandon...."Eat It!"

2008-12-23T21:10:00.008-05:00

If you've seen Napoleon Dynamite, this will be even funnier..... Remember the scene where Napoleon starts yelling at Tina? Wait for end of the clip and you'll see what I mean.

"Yeah, Females.....Hot Ones"

2008-12-23T16:33:00.009-05:00

Teaching at a large university is a very interesting task. It's interesting because the students come from so many different backgrounds and have a variety of life experiences. I thought I would share a strange request made by Lee, one of my less than stellar students. I ask the students to form teams at the beginning of each semester. If they can't manage to find a place, they are randomly assigned to a group. Anyway, Lee came up to me after class to talk about his group. Most students just tell me they want to be in a group with 4 other people and then they provide me with the names. Not Lee. He approached me and told me just to put him in any group. When I asked if he had any special requests, he thought for a second and then with a smooth, low voice said, "Yeah, females." Entertained by the request, I followed up by asking him if he had anyone in particular in mind. He slowly scanned the classroom and then cockily nodded his head saying, "Yeah, Hot Ones!" Given how things turned out, I think Lee learned what random assignment really meant, including the fact that it has no regard for one's preference for "Hot Females." Live and learn.....

Why Conclusively Inconclusive?

2008-12-23T10:05:00.019-05:00

So you may be wondering why I decided to call the blog "Conclusively Inconclusive." It's a long story, but let me try to explain. As many of you know, I'm half way through my 11th year of college. Yes, I've been in school forever. If you think it seems long, you should take a walk in my shoes. In all fairness, I'm not in school in the traditional sense. Working on a PhD usually requires 2 to 4 years of coursework. I'm in my 5th year so I'm not taking classes anymore, just working on research, teaching, and trying to finish my dissertation. In that sense, it's more like a job without pay. Anyway, back to the name of the blog. When I was an undergraduate I thought I was actually learning things that were true. When I walked across the stage with my fake diploma, I felt like I actually knew something. However, once I passed through the doors of graduate school, all that learning seemed to be a facade. One of the first things they tell you in grad school is that you need to unlearn everything you learned while pursuing your initial degree. Apparently they just teach undergrads what they think they can understand, instead of filling them in on how things really are. I guess this makes sense, because not even the ones doing the teaching know too much about anything; they just know a little more than those they teach. At the end of the day, things are pretty complicated and nobody really understands them, not even professors, who are the smartest people they know. So what does this mean? It means that nothing is ever as it seems, particularly with research. As I recall, it was Otto Neurath, the famous philosopher of science, who equated science with the task of repeatedly disassembling and reconstructing a boat, plank by plank, all while trying to sail on it. Everyone knows that science changes and evolves over time, but to what end is the real qustion. Think about the '80s 'fat free' diets and the 90's 'low carb' diets for example. Each was touted as the next 'best' thing, that is until the next 'better' thing came along. Anyway, I hope I haven't scared you. Don't worry, my future posts won't be this boring (or long). The point of all this is that we don't really know much, at least not in the academic or secular sense. Because of that, there's a lot of funny stuff that happens when we think we know what we are doing. Furthermore, things tend to be even more humourous when we run into those who really don't know what's going on. Fortunately, the interaction between the people who think they know something and the people who don't even bother to think about thinking they should think (did you follow that?), makes life more interesting. Ultimately, nothing you see on this blog is conclusive, but it is guaranteed to be conclusively inconclusive, just like everything else in life.

Russ Launches Into the Blogosphere

2008-12-23T08:55:00.022-05:00

Russ was always so interested in the digital camera and taking pictures that we decided to dig out the old one and let him use it. He's taken hundreds of pictures so far. In fact, we had to put a bigger card in the camera because he was filling it up too fast. Anyway, he wanted to share some of his pictures with an audience, so here are a few of them. You'll find a description of each one (kind of) in the video he made this morning. But, just to be safe, I'll include a few captions too.

Here's the man behind the lense. Not bad for a reverse shot. If you ever wondered what it looks like under Russ's tongue, wonder no more. This is the Cars car show. This represents about 10% of the cars he manages.

A few of Russ's favorite trucks, courtesy of his sponsors in Tooele.

This is Russ's teacher from pre-school. They call here Miss Jean. That should be anonymous enough. There's got to be other people named Jean in PA that teach pre-school.

Here's a shot of Dito modeling the latest fall fashions. It's a nice look for him.

Here's Dito in the crib. You may be wondering why there is a sheet wrapped around the top bar. Shalece started noticing that he was waking up with brown stuff all over his pajamas. Upon closer inspection, we discovered that Dito was chewing away at the wood on the top bar. The brown stuff on the pajamas was saw dust. Anyway, this is what we came up with. Sorry Dito. You'll have to find a new way to sharpen those teeth!

Kids' Stuff - Overdue Pictures

2008-12-22T20:19:00.014-05:00

So I know these pictures are long overdue, but I've been pretty busy lately. I found out they don't just give away PhDs anymore. Russ and Brandon are being indoctrinated into NASCAR at a fruit farm, of all places. OK, it's not really NASCAR (for Pennsylvania purists), but it's got to be similar. It drives in a circle and rednecks gather round waiting for it to crash. Did I miss anything?

I was much happier to see Russ and Brandon practicing indoor bobsledding. It might not be as popular as NASCAR, but it's easier to train for here in central PA.

Back Again, Dude!

2008-12-22T15:25:00.021-05:00

Well, I'm back again. As some of you know, this isn't my first attempt at blogging. I've tried on and off for a few years, but I could never find the time to do it. I'm not sure things are so different now, except that now I am teaching, while also trudging through mountains of dissertation data. I may actually be busier (or at least I should be), so I could definitely use a more structured outlet to vent my frustrations. Trust me, I have plenty of them. Fortunately, most of them seem quite a bit funnier to other people, so I'll be sharing them here. Hopefully you'll contribute your thoughts and comments also so that we can enjoy this whackiness together. The astute reader (yes, you) will notice that I'm using a pseudonym for my screen name. I wouldn't necessarily want my students, colleagues, neighbors, or frenemies (don't worry, you can google it later to see what it means) to stumble across my rants. In addition, and more importantly, I'm not sure I want child predators watching or tracking down my kids, who will be making appearances from time to time (hey, I have to throw a bone to the older demographic). Anyway, I'll be posting using the screen name 'Dude'. While the name is fitting (I'm sure I say 'dude' more than anybody I've ever met), I should confess that I borrowed the notion of posting incognito from a good friend of mine, who writes under the guise of 'Dirk Handlebar.' Thanks, Dirk. Consider yourself cited...sort of. That's about it for now. Stay tuned...

Technical Difficulties...Our Apologies

2008-12-02T23:08:00.000-05:00

If you just so happened to view the blog today, you may have noticed several out of place surveys on the main page. Shalece and I are working on a special segment and somehow some unrelated HTML code from the 'test blog' made its way into the 'real blog'. Translated into English that means that I totally messed up and I still have no idea what I'm doing. Hey, I'm studying marketing, not computer science! Sorry about the confusion. Have a great week!

The Following Posts Have Received the Most Attention Among Readers:

2008-12-01T22:54:00.020-05:00

Seriously Wal Mart? No...Seriously? High Maintenance Family Seeks Qualified Maintenance Man . . . Seriously

One of the Many Reasons I love Chile

You've Heard of Breathe Right, Now There's Gas Right

Russ Feeding Brandon . . . "Eat It!"

Pictures Found On This Blog

2008-12-01T19:06:00.005-05:00

The pictures presented in the posts are assembled here in raw format. They are organized from newest to oldest. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Videos Found On This Blog

2008-12-01T18:45:00.007-05:00

The videos presented in the posts are assembled here in raw format. They are organized from newest to oldest. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------